Mom's Story

Funeral Service and Visitation

2009-04-04T13:27:00.001-07:00

The Memorial Service for Dawn will be held at Crossroads Church on Easter Sunday (April 12) afternoon at 1:00.
We as a family will be providing and serving a light lunch beginning at 11:30 a.m. We are choosing to do this in lieu of visitation prior to the service. This lunch will enable us to be with you as we share this time of celebration of God’s grace in Dawn’s life.
Traditional visitation will also be held at Crossroads Church on Saturday, April 11, from 3:00-7:00 p.m.
Crossroads Church is located at 3815 S. Dutch Mill Rd., Madison WI 53718.
In lieu of flowers we ask that you consider a donation in Dawn’s memory to one of the following wonderful organizations:

Crossroads Church
3815 S. Dutch Mill Rd
Madison WI 53718

ALS Association
Development Dept.
27001 Agoura Road
Suite 250
Calabasas Hills, CA 91301
888.949.2577
http://www.alsa.org/donate/

Hospice of Dane County
5395 E. Cheryl Parkway
Madison WI 53711
608.276.4660
https://www.hospicecareinc.com/donation_form.asp?fldID=56

We recognize that for many Easter Sunday is a day spent with family, and we understand that some of you will not be able to share with us on this day because of these prior plans. In our deliberations we had to come to grips with needs of our immediate family, but more importantly, given Mom's love of music and her desire to celebrate Jesus Christ, Easter seemed the appropriate day. We look forward to sharing this time with any who can join us, and can appreciate those of you who would love to but can not because of family commitments. We know that we will continue to be remembered in your prayers, and we deeply value this.

Memories (sometimes called Obituaries)

2009-04-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

Some of you who read this blog do not know Mom so we wanted to present some basic facts as well as some memories that get at some of Mom’s character.
Mom was born April 24, 1953 in Grand Rapids, MI while her dad (A. Paul Veenstra) was a seminarian student at Calvin Theological Seminary. She was the first born of Paul and Kathy (Soetenga) Veenstra, and would have three siblings join the family in later years - Randall (Debra) Veenstra, Nancy (Jerry) Wissing – also known as her favorite sister, and Daniel (Lori) Veenstra.
Most of her childhood was spent in Chula Vista, CA, which became a wonderful place to vacation in later years for our family as we spent extended time with grandparents, aunts & uncles, and cousins.
She and Dad met in the bookstore while attending Calvin College. Although they have given us some of these details, we are sure they have not told us everything. They were married on August 15, 1975, and were blessed (Mom’s word) with children within 13 months of marriage. The six of us came in regular succession (two years separating each of us), and in the following order: Jennifer Dawn (AJ) Menefee, Julie Nicole (Joel) VandenBrand, Jillaine Kathryn, Jodi Lyn (Jeremy) Klyn, Jaquelyn Beth, and Jacob Douglas. In later years, she was thrilled with a second chance at (grand)motherhood with the births of Tyler, Eli and Isaac VandenBrand, Declan Klyn, and Quint (Avery John V) Menefee.
Mom was first and foremost a mother, and this mother’s heart extended to all ever considered a friend of one of her children. Her house was an open house. If any friend of her children needed a place to crash, a meal before a game, a place to invite friends, her home was fair game. Even more than her home, she desired to be a mother to all who came under her roof. Phrases we have heard many times since her diagnosis with ALS include the following: “I’ve always considered myself a VanEssen,” or “She was my second mother.” Perhaps one of the saddest days in her life was when her last child left for college.
Her second love was music. God blessed her with a beautiful voice, and she began to use it early in life. She was a part of a singing group in her church in Chula Vista. She continued this use of her gift for music until late 2007 when the ALS began to affect her voice in such a way that she could no longer sing. This presented her with a spiritual dilemma – how could God take this great love away from her? A highlight in her spiritual life was when she would say to the one she served, “God, if you take away even my voice I will serve and love you!” Little did she realize that within 9 months her voice would be gone. Those of you who have followed this blog know that this did not deter her love for Jesus.
In the years after her last child left for college, she struggled with her identity. However, within the latter years came to realize that God was providing wonderful opportunities for her care expressed through mothering to continue to serve Jesus. She began working with the Little Lambs ministry (for pre-school aged children) at Crossroads, and later began working with infants at LaPetite Academy (a childcare provider). Through these God continued to develop compassion within her that extended far beyond her own family.
We, her children, find ourselves overwhelmed with the gift of learning from our mother, and God continues to extend her legacy through us as we raise our children, care for other’s children, and serve in other ways. God gave us a mother of care and love so that we can be those who care and love. For this we will always be grateful, and we cherish those of you who have been touched by her love, often expressed in that wonderful welcoming smile.
We know that even though our mother’s life on this earth ended on Thursday, April 2, 2009, the impact on others continues because she touched and changed us by God’s grace.

Other Items

2009-04-02T19:47:00.001-07:00

Please watch this blog for schedules of visitation, memorials and services. We will update as plans and decisions are made.

An Early Easter

2009-04-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

Easter came early for Dawn this year. She died about 8:30 p.m. tonight (April 2). We took her home from Hospice at noon because her wishes were to be with her family at home when she died. The next 8 hours were a mixed bag - some peaceful and filled with smiles as children and grandchildren spent time with her. Other hours were struggles and pain. She died with her family surrounding her and encouraging her in her last few steps, painful as they might have been. As she so often tucked her children into bed, and sat with them as they wrestled with sleep, her children surrounded her in her struggle with this final sleep, tucking her safely so that she would be awaken by the loving and strong arms of Jesus, the one she lived for and loved.
As much as I wanted her to be finished with the battle, I never imagined in my darkest nights that it was this hard to let go. Therefore, I continue to wait for Easter with all its power and transformation. Like the Marys and the disciples I do not know how to get through the darkness of Friday. But I know the hope of the coming Sunrise on Easter when all God's children will awake to the smile of their eldest brother Jesus.
In the mean time, I remain with you in the safe hands of The Strong One who is the Resurrection and the Life.

Your presence (even when distance separates) is appreciated as are your prayers!

Pastor Doug, Jennifer, Julie, Jillaine, Jodi, Jacque, Jacob along with all those who make our lives joyful and hopeful. AJ, Joel, Jeremy, Tyler, Eli, Isaac, Declan, and Quint.

The Continued Journey

2009-04-02T04:02:00.000-07:00

It is almost 6:00am, Thursday April 2. All the kids are home - in Madison. We called them here because we thought last evening would be a last with mom. Yesterday, April 1, we made the decision to come to the inpatient unit here at Hospice. Mom was having terrible difficulty breathing. The last few days have been a real struggle for her. Upon consultation with medical personnel we admitted her here to try and get some control over the breathing issue.
Within an hour of arriving Mom took a sharp turn downward. Her breathing became very shallow, and it was obvious that she was struggling to exhale the CO2 in her body. Upon advice we called the kids home.
It was about 1 am before we all were gathered around her bed. We all had opportunity to tell her again that we loved her, that we did not want her to go, but also did not want her to have to suffer any more. She really did not respond to any of this. However, this morning at 6 she opened her eyes and smiled. She shook her head "no" when we asked her if she remembered the kids being here last night. But smiled when Jacque and Jill walked into her line of sight. She is responding to Jacque's questions and has just motioned to her that she loves her too.
We don't know how long this will last. The Dr. said he believes she has pneumonia and believes that life will only be a matter of days yet. Mom's mother and sister will be in-flight by noon, and we hope they are able to see her yet this side of heaven.
Thank you for your continued prayers.

More Devices

2009-03-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

It is with continued disappointment that we report a couple more evidences of decline. In our last blog we noted that Dawn was having breathing problems. After discussing this with Hospice oxygen was brought in. Dawn is now using this at various times in the day, as well as at night when she sleeps. This has seemed to help make things a little easier for her breathing.
We are thankful for this, but one more 'device' sitting in the house is a reminder of the steady decline. We can chart the downward progression by recalling the addition of devices. It began with canes, moved to walkers, then wheelchairs. Dawn needed a speech device. We brought in a food blender, suction machine, and had a feeding tube put in. Shower chairs, hospital bed and a Hoyer lift followed. All these are visible reminders as they occupy floor or surface space in the house. All are evidence of the continual decline that is claiming life.
Another evidence of this decline is Dawn's difficulty in maintaining balance. She is finding it increasingly difficult to hold herself erect in a chair. You can imagine the difficulty this presents in even the basic necessities of life.
On a different note, her brother Randy arrived this morning for a few days with her. We are thankful for his presence as well as his ability to help in setting up such things as the eye-reader on the speech machine.
Randy's presence has also enabled Jill the 'free' time to spend about 24 hours with Jake in Minneapolis celebrating his 22nd birthday (Sunday).
Again, we thank you for your prayers, cards, expressions of love and support, as well as the fantastic meals prepared on our behalf. May God bless you today!

New Development?

2009-03-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

Part of the purpose of this blog was to keep you updated on developments in Dawn's continued struggle with ALS. We have to let you know that the most recent change is not one we ever wanted to have to post.
Last evening and this morning Dawn has been struggling with her breathing. She has struggled with shortness of breath, not being able to get the depth of breath she needs. This has created a significant level of anxiety. Last evening this struggle lasted for more than an hour, and we eventually had to call Hospice. The nurse on call ended up coming out to check Dawn over. Thankfully she finally was able to get some relief at midnight, and seemed to sleep relatively restfully.
However, this morning the problem was experienced again. She also had a slight temperature that caused additional concern.
We do not know what all this means. We continue to monitor this closely, and anticipate knowing a little more after the nurse visits later this week. We continue to value your prayers and thank you for your love and support.
We will try to keep you posted.

Hospice Respite

2009-03-08T14:29:00.000-07:00

It is Sunday, March 8, 4:29 pm. Dawn and I have both enjoyed a nap (Dawn's still laying down). We both crashed after arriving here at the Anderson Hospice Center in Madison. We are here for 5 days enjoying (perhaps not a word Dawn would use) a break from the routine at home, and enjoying others caring for us for a few days. However, it is accomplishing one purpose -- allowing me time for things other than caregiving at home. I'm actually sitting and writing this blog.
The last few weeks have been busy and full of friends and family. On January 29-31 I was in Grand Rapids, MI attending the Worship Symposium at Calvin College. While I was there Jeremy, Jodi and Declan were with Dawn and Jill in Madison along with Cyndi Schuler a long-time friend of the family.
Two weeks later, February 13-15, Bill and Marilyn Stroo (long time friends) came for the weekend along with Jacque, Jen and, most importantly, 'Quinters' the #5 (in sequence) grandson.
On February 20-22 Joel, Julie and the boys (Tyler, Eli and Issac) spent a few days with us, and Jacob found time to break away from his studies in Minneapolis to join in some time with the boys.
March 3-8 found Jacque stepping in helping out as Jill flew to Durham for some reuniting with classmates and friends. On Thursday (5th) Jodi, Jeremy and Declan came down, and once again we found ourselves reveling in the joys of grandparenting and experiencing real care from the kids! Becky Twing (Jodi's best friend from High School - Jodi and she could never truly be trusted when they were together) came along for a quick two-day visit.
This afternoon we find ourselves 'alone'. But we look forward to enjoying the whole clan next week-end as all the kids and grandkids are planning to come to Madison.
What I find truly interesting (something I have not even told the kids yet) is the transformation that has taken place in the kids. This past Christmas we had a 'family talk'. We talked about the changes that we anticipated Dawn experiencing as this disease continued its deadly progress. Jill shared some of her experiences with Dawn as she had begun caring for her mom a few days prior to this. She was looking ahead at giving herself full time in this way, and she shared some of what she had discovered.
As we talked it was clear that the discussion was becoming a little uncomfortable as reservations were expressed regarding each one's ability to be able to step in and do what needed to be done so that Mom could continue to live at home, and Jill and I experience occasional respite and breaks from the round-the-clock care that has become necessary.
What I find interesting is this: as each of the kids has been home for weekends and times of helping, each has stepped in quite easily, and each has done wonderfully in caring for their mother! I find little evidence of the inability fearfully expressed at Christmas, nor the fear of not being able to do what needs to be done. Each has found the ability to perform the necessary tasks even when they are the unexpected and/or more than that for which they bargained. They have found that the love they have for their mother has stretched them and enabled them to do what they did not expect to be able. Their mother's teaching and nurturing has proven effective!
Finally, before I quit this, we all have experienced some troubling changes in these last couple of months. Dawn's ability to move her feet (shuffle them) as we move her from chair to bed, for instance, has become noticeably ineffective. This has created more than a couple instances of 'dropping' her (not truly a drop, but rather, as Dawn puts it, a 'slow descent to the floor').
And, as always, despite these unwanted and unasked for changes Dawn continues to enjoy the times with friends and family, sharing laughter and tears, hopes and disappointments.
Thank you to all who remember her (and us) in your thoughts and prayers, through cards and e-mails, via text and blog posts! Your love and support helps us more than you can know!

Doug

Mom-Queen of Nicknames

2009-03-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

One may have thought that after coming up with six names that all begin with J, that remembering them all and keeping them straight would have been a tough job. Not for my mom! On top of our given names she decided that it would be fun to give us all nicknames. I don't just mean nicknames that are the shortened version of our given names. Mom was more creative than that. She came up with names like Bennalyn, Nicaragua, Icabeth, Stimy-Stimey, Hodad, and Mildred. For some of us, we answered to our nicknames faster than our given names. Mom then continued this by giving her grandsons nicknames like Teedlebugs and Ebjay (E B Jay).

You may be wondering what made me write about this. Well, it goes back about 11 months. When my son was born we gave him the name Avery John V. My husband and I decided to call him Quint. When Quint was a few months old we were at my parents' house in WI. My mom starting calling him 'Quint John'. I remember vividly telling her that 'Quint John' was not his name. I then asked her not to call him that. Guess what!? I now call him 'Quint John' or 'Quinter John' all the time! Every time I call him this I laugh to myself and think of the time I told my mom not to call him that.:)

Mom's tradition of nicknames has now been passed on to her children. Julie, Jodi, and I have multiple names for our children. And if I had to guess, I would say that someday Jill, Jacque, and Jake's children will also have nicknames. If our kids ever complain we can blame it all on grandma Dawn!

Thanks mom for passing on this fun tradition! I love you and so does
Quinter John!

Jen

February Update

2009-02-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

OK, we know it is time for another update, however, we often feel as if things haven’t changed that much so we don’t write much. The reality is, things continue to deteriorate. As Dawn has herself expressed, “This is continual!” whereby she means, “You guys are always changing things around in the house because the things I can’t do keep increasing.”
Perhaps the best way to give you some indication of what has been happening is to let you know some of the things that we have had to add or change over the past month.
We have brought in a Hoyer Lift to help on the occasions when Dawn needs to be moved and she does not have the strength to assist us.
A Hospital style bed has been added so that she has greater flexibility in the pressure points on her body when she sleeps. In a regular night, she will need to be turned over every 1 1/2 – 2 hours because her hips and shoulders become so tender. This despite the purchase of a memory foam/egg crate pad to place on top of our cushioned mattress.
Today we purchased a new cell phone for her because her previous one was too heavy, and she was having difficulty hanging on to it while she was using it, or dropping it as she was picking it up.
We have added a small collection of neck pillows to help to support her head and neck while she is sitting in her chair.
An additional medication to dry out her mouth has become necessary as she is having increased difficulty handling the normal saliva and drainage from nasal passages. The suction machine is getting regular use, and she regularly experiences the sensation of choking and not being able to breath because of saliva and nasal discharge.
On Monday we go in to have her G-Tube replaced. While there Dawn will have pieces of flesh that have grown from the wound cauterized. This will be the third time in three weeks. These little pieces of raw flesh are the body’s attempt to close the open wound from the G-tube. They are extremely sensitive and painful, and must be cauterized to deaden them.
Living with so much loss each week it sometimes seems very scary for Dawn. Yet, it does not take long to realize that Dawn is not ‘dying of ALS.’ She will be the first to tell you that she is trying to see this as ‘living with ALS.’ Therefore, when sitting with her, one is quickly able to experience her humor and feel the warmth of her smile. She is open to share the emotions of pain and sadness, yet her compassion and care will triumph! For this we give thanks and are the recipients of her strength and grace.
We have had visitors (kids, grandkids, and/or friends) almost every weekend. Their help and presence continues to be appreciated, and offers Jill and me at least a temporary break from some of the daily routine.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We value being a part of the Caring Christian Community!

Friends = laughter & tears

2009-01-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

One of the things that my dad always taught me was that tears and laughter are emotionally so close you can go from one to the other in a matter of seconds. I had that happen with some close friends on Friday. This disease is horrible, but close friends can make your day, even during this hard time. During our time together we laughed about secret sisters, families, church, and how as we get older our minds tend to betray us at times and the words that come out of our mouths betray us. I'll never forget the day my mom was at my sister's, and as the cat was coming down the stairs she said, "My, how your elephant has grown." We laughed so hard we had tears running down our checks. Laughter turned into tears on Friday, but they were happy tears, and for me now, my friends are really important, including those in Michigan. I have a friend with whom we raised our children, and we would be laughing one minute and then the laughter turned into tears. She and I could read each others eyes.

These last 11 months have been a roller coaster of laughter and tears. When I wake up in the night the tears come and I ask, "How can this be happening?" When Doug and I lay on our bed at night we talk about how great it would if, in the morning, we woke up and it was all a dream. The tears come again. But when we wake up and find out the dog moved Doug's coat onto a chair and then promptly jumped up to sleep there for the night, (Doug was "thrilled" as you can imagine) laughter abounds. Laughter and tears are so close, sometimes you can be laughing and crying at the same time. My family, good friends, and Hospice nurses taking care of me know me well enough they can tell the difference in my eyes when laughter or tears are coming. And I am thankful that they also know how to respond to me by looking in my eyes.

Friendship these last 11 months has been vital to my living. Family also plays a big part in that. So next time you see me at church, you don't need to say anything if you have no words. Just look me in the eyes and you may be able to see how I feel.

Dawn

Update

2009-01-20T15:00:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since we have given you a ‘physical’ update of how Dawn is doing. I do not know why we have not done this more often. I know that for me personally one reason is it is simply one way I try to deny that things are getting worse. I know it does not make sense, but then few of my dysfunctions do.

Dawn’s ability to walk is gone. With strong help she can stand long enough to complete the necessary transfers through the day (bed to walker, walker to chair, chair to walker, walker to car, etc). If she is tired, as she often is, even this task is questionable and often involves two helpers.

Although Dawn gets all of her nourishment from her feeding tube, she does occasionally try to enjoy a couple spoonfuls of ice cream with chocolate. Increasingly, however, even this luxury has been taken away as she has not been able to swallow any of this as of late. In addition, the very act of spitting (getting out the ice cream when she can not swallow) is ineffective as very few muscles that enable the completion of this act are working.

We are finding that many of her neck and back muscles are significantly weaker as well. She experiences difficulty in sitting upright in her chair as these muscles no longer work effectively. Often when she reaches for something on the floor from this sitting position, she is unable to right herself. This morning she got ‘whiplash’ from the circle I made with her walker while she was in it. She was unable to straighten herself as her head lay behind her back.

When in bed she is unable to lift her head from her pillow or reposition herself as she has difficulty in even moving her foot high enough to place it on the pillow that on which her leg is resting. Someone else must administer any change of positions while in bed.

Her grip (hands) has weakened significantly that dropping things has become a regular event. Even when she is able to grip something (such as a plastic cup with tea) she experiences difficulty in lifting it. Her eyes also experience much tiredness when she reads a book or emails. This has decreased her time spent responding to emails. However, keep your emails coming. They are encouraging and supportive. Her daily strength enables her to be up out of bed for a total of perhaps 6 hours on a normal day. Any more than this will be extracted in extra necessary rest in the 2-3 days that follow.

We thank you for your continued prayers and support given in so many ways. We have been encouraged through your love and care.

Declan

2009-01-08T14:33:00.000-08:00

Declan,

Grandma got a picture of you this morning that made me jealous (yes grandmas can get jealous too) of where I saw you having your breakfast. It was in Grandma Kathy's kitchen in California. And when Aunt Jill got off the phone this morning she told me that you and Aidan (your second cousin) really liked the monkeys so I bet you went to the San Diego Zoo. Grandma loved to take your mommy there. Her favorites were the big snakes (HA HA).

Declan, when you were born grandma had a sinus infection and had been sick for awhile so I had to wait for 2 weeks until I could grab you from your mom and just snuggle you to my face and shoulder. Oh you smelled so good! It took at least half an hour before grandma would let grandpa hold you, but grandpa was so good about it because he knows how grandma loves her babies. We sat and just held you thanking God for the beautiful gift of you Declan. God made a special mommy and daddy just for you Declan and knew years ago who little Declan Alexander Klyn was going to live with. More important Declan, He knew that mommy and daddy believed in Jesus and would start teaching you before you were even born. I knew mommy sang to you but my guess is that daddy did too.

When you were here for Christmas one of grandma's memories was watching you walk all over with your hand up saying eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, eh?, until someone took your finger and even though you could walk alone you always wanted someone to go with you. It was so funny. Also the bath you and Quint took in the kitchen sinks. Grandma got to sit and watch and I think grandma ended up with more water on her than you. Quint just sat watching and laughing. But Quint's mom and dad told grandma that when Quint got home he splashed and got them all wet. Declan, your belly laugh is so much fun to listen to, and that picture of you standing at the sliding door with the doggie is priceless.

Declan, for reasons we don't understand grandma has a sickness that means she will be with Jesus before you are all grown up. You will always be in my heart and I trust mommy and daddy will always be teaching you more and more about JESUS and if you ask your cousins Tyler and Eli questions about grandma, they can tell you because they know a lot about their silly grandma. Declan, I love you to the bottom of my heart and I know mommy and daddy will also tell you about me. I LOVE YOU DECLAN WITH ALL MY HEART.
Love Grandma Dawn

Isaac

2009-01-07T16:32:00.000-08:00

When you were born I came up to the hospital, and when I held you you worked your way into my heart so fast! Sometimes moms wonder how they can love a second or third baby as much as the first, but it just happens, and it happened even more for this Grandma. That dark head of hair - when your brothers had blond and hardly any hair at all. To me you looked just like your daddy, and that was fine with me Isaac. You have a handsome dad. It was so good to hold, hug, and smell you. That new baby smell is wonderful. God had a special plan for you Isaac - to be born close to the time that 2 of your cousins were born. Now the three of you can be buds. Grandma loves to have all of you here and just watch. Declan walking all around you, Quint sitting watching you crawl and figuring how that works. Tyler and Eli (your big brothers) watching over all of you. What a gift God gave me in all of you. Tyler-11, Eli-8, Declan-1, you, Isaac-10 months, and Quint-10 months. WHAT A MIRACLE FOR THIS GRANDMA!

I hear from your mom that you do not sleep at night. I am with you Isaac. Why eat during the day when you have to share the glory with two big brothers, but at night you have your mom all to yourself? I go with you. Also, your mom deserves it after she did the same thing to Grandma and Grandpa. Your mom kept us up at night a lot, so she is getting back what she did to us. :-)

Isaac, as soon as you are old enough to make Ty and E scared of the dark hide and scare them. Any time you can get your brothers to do something for you - you go boy. Mom was a stinker for Grandma and Grandpa so you be a stinker for them.

Isaac, Grandma is writing this because I have a sickness that means I will not be able to see you grow up all the way. I do not understand it anymore than you do, but I pray God uses it to touch many people. You see Isaac, Grandma believes in Jesus. That means I believe that Jesus died on the cross to forgive Grandma's sins, and He does the same for you. I know your mom and dad teach you about Jesus all the time, and Grandma is so proud of them.

Isaac I will always remember your big smile and all the attention you got from your brothers.

They love you so much. I pray that I will see you many times yet. Let's give it to Jesus (you and Grandma) and let Him decide that. Isaac I love you with all my heart and pray for you ever day.

Love and Prayers Grandma Dawn

Fear

2009-01-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

What I share today is very difficult but I think it will give better insight into this horrible disease and I do mean horrible. I hope and pray none of you will ever have to go through this. ALS is a disease that gradually takes muscles and reduces them to jelly.

Let me go back a bit and we will go from there. A year ago July I had just gotten a job at a daycare center. Since I love babies I was very excited. When I saw the room and the babies I was overwhelmed. On my way home on Milwaukee Street I felt something come over me and felt God saying, "Dawn I want to teach you compassion". Most people I shared that with were dumbfounded because they said I already had compassion. However, I said, "Learn compassion for ALL people with no judgement." I began caring for babies, and loved it! At the same time I was having trouble with some swallowing and congestion that would not go away. I had been on 9 antibiotics and coming home one day on Milwaukee street when I again felt God whispering, "Are you willing to give up your singing for me?" Now that was a tough one. Those who know me know that singing was a highlight in my life. I sang all the time. Doug and kids can attest to that. Before I was home I had given over my singing, and promised that God would still be first even if I couldn't sing.

Over the next few months I had test after test after test, and no one could find anything wrong. My doctor then sent me for an EMG (I didn't even know what it meant) and the Neurologist said nothing but sent me to my primary care doctor that same day. I still wasn't scared. My doctor walked in and started reading the test results. As I glanced at the sheet with the test results all I could see was "serious and critical". My doctor left to compose himself and when he came back told us the results. That was how we found out that I was dying.

You wonder why I entitled this entry Fear. It is because our lives were changed in a matter of 30 seconds. That is fear! I had given my voice over to God when He asked me to, and now he was asking for my life - physically, emotionally and especially spiritually. How could I ever do that knowing death was coming. Doug, Jen, AJ, Quint, Julie, Joel, Tyler, Eli, Isaac, Jillaine, Jodi, Jeremy, Declan, Jacquelyn, and Jacob - how would they handle all this? Asking that was fear. Since February 11, 2008 the whole family has looked at the world differently. Sometimes this perspective meant sobbing our hearts out. At other times it meant laughing at funny family jokes. It has been a roller coaster ride and continues to be.

At this point I cannot talk anymore, eat anymore (and food sounds good) walk, roll over in bed, lift my head up off the pillow, and my arms are getting weaker. There are other things happening with my body, and it all tends to create fear!

Now let us flip sides and look at what God is doing with me and my family. We are closer - there is no question about this. We talk at least twice every week. You, as my church family, are closer to me. Do I ever get angry? Yes. I do not know where God is leading, but He is in charge and often I can say, "I am yours so do with me what you want". I never guessed a year ago where I would be today, and it feels like my heart is shattered into thousands of pieces. However, God is in charge. This is true whether I am angry, scared, fear-filled or any other emotion. Therefore I can I daily say "Thank-you God for ALS." Even though I hate it and am terrified He must have a plan.

Dawn

Eli and Mom's Favorite Picture!

2008-12-28T15:45:00.000-08:00

Eli, right now as I sit in my chair you are sitting with Grandpa in his chair next to me. Oh, Eli I love you so much. You are so much like your mom I can't believe it, and then I turn around and you are acting like your goofy dad - and that is goofy! Dad should be in the Philippines; so you, Mom, Tyler and Isaac get to stay here longer and Grandma loves that. I sure wish I could talk to you and tell you how I feel about my sickness, but I can not so we will have have to talk this way. I am very sad about my sickness, and that means I probably will not get to see you grow up. But at least I get to celebrate your 8th birthday tomorrow.

I have so many wonderful memories of you. Remember when Grandma tried to pick you up by your hands and you had to go in and get a sling on. Grandma, Grandma! I know you still love me though. All the times we visited you in Grand Haven and stayed in a hotel and what did you like about that? The pool, but first of all the snack machine. You knew Grandma would always get you a treat didn't you. I spent most of my time sitting by the pool.

Eli, do you remember the secret spot? Every time you and Tyler came over to Grandma's there was a suprise in the secret spot. The problem was that the secret spot got too small for all the things Grandma bought for you, and Grandma started getting in trouble from your mom for spoiling you too much.

How about the time you had on your new snow boots, shorts, a winter hat and a red wings jersey and we wanted to take to McDonalds, but Mommy would not claim you because of your goofy clothes so Grandpa and Grandma claimed you as ours? We did not care what you looked like! We stilled loved you anyway.

And how could we ever forget your hot chocolate milk. Every morning you had to have chocolate milk, and Grandma always had to go out and make sure we had some in the house. How about Fruity Pebbles? That was always a must-have in the house. Now you think it is great when you can have food with partially hydrogenated oils at Grandma's house.

Eli, when Grandma goes to live with Jesus in heaven it will be hard for you, but I will always be in your heart. You have to remember me to tell all your cousins about Grandma. It is very hard for Grandma to think about not seeing you grow up, but God must have other plans for Grandma. I did not choose to be sick, and I think God is in heaven crying that Grandma is sick. But I also trust God that He knows what is best, my Eli. Thanks for all your hugs, and I know I will get many more. You are God's child, and I know you believe in Jesus. Keep loving Jesus all your life buddy just like you do now.

Love and Prayers

Grandma

Christmas Day

2008-12-25T13:05:00.000-08:00

Christmas day has always been a celebration in the Van Essen Home. We would go to church, the kids running home to put a quick lunch on the table to quickly eat, and then the kids would try to hurry dad so we could sit down. He would be santa, always giving one present at a time so each person had a turn until they were all gone. What fun we we had!

Today as we are together there are thoughts going all over the place. Julie, Joel, Tyler, Eli and Isaac are not here yet as Joel leaves on a mission trip tomorrow. Julie will then start out with the three boys to come from Michigan. Tomorrow night we will all be together (except for Joel) and we thank God for that time. Last year we never gave thought that anything could be different in a year.

This morning all were up and visiting while I laid in bed with a feeding tube, praying that I could at least get some some jello down when we ate. Getting dressed this morning I had an experience that I hope none of you have to ever go through. Anyone who knows something about ALS knows that as the disease progresses there is a lot of phlegm that builds up in your throat and you can choke. Well guess what happened? Yes, I started choking with no one in the room and no cell phone near me. Jill came in and ran to get the suction unit, but it still would not come out. Breathing was getting difficult and I finally got water to take it down. By this time Jill and I were in tears, Doug came in and just held me close with tears in his eyes.

What a scare and a look into the future of what will continue with this horrible disease!

Then dinner was ready, but I was in no shape to go and sit at the table. However, I sucked it up, put on a smile and came out to sit at the table. We pureed 3 different types of food but I could not swallow a thing. I sat getting more and more frustrated trying not to cry or let anyone but Doug and Jill see me. That was silly because who would not see napkins flying across the table along with a spoon and a couple of bowls. Then I remembered that Christmas was about a baby boy being born who would grow up to be our Savior, and I sat complaining about food. I had to stop and look in my heart realizing that ALS can take my life, but it will not get my faith. Neither will it take the enjoyment of my family or how and where God will use me.

Dawn

Our Gratitude

2008-12-25T10:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! (Jen writing)

It is a beautiful Christmas Day here in Wisconsin. The ground and trees are covered with snow, and the sun is streaming in the windows. As a child I remember loving these days, especially if they were a Sunday. I would lay on the floor in front of the windows in the living room of our house in Muskegon. The sun would stream in on my back as I went back and forth between watching Sunday football and sleeping. Oh I loved those days!

Today there is not much napping going on, unless you are under 15 months. We are all enjoying being together and anxiously awaiting the arrival of the last few members of the family! We have always loved spending time together; however, in the last year this has become even more important to us.

As a family we would like to express our heartfelt thanks to so many of you, our family and friends, for all that you have done for us. We have been showered with gifts to enjoy as a family. In addition to the cookies, candy and Christmas treats, we have been blessed with gift cards for food and gas. Your monetary gifts that ensured that our family could be together this Christmas have overwhelmed us with thanksgiving! Mere words do not seem enough to express our gratitude to all of you! God has blessed us by putting you in our lives. We wish you a Christ-filled Christmas and God's quiet presence in the New Year.

With Love,
The VanEssen Family

Quint

2008-12-23T14:19:00.000-08:00

Quint

I am sitting in the great room watching daddy try to comfort a little boy who wants his mom. You only want mom and I think every baby goes through that. Eight months old and mommy is all you want. Mommy can fix everything for you. You are fighting sleep in daddy's arms, looking at the lights on the Christmas tree. I am reminded of another baby boy who I'm sure went through the same thing Quint. The difference is that He was in a stable with all the animals because there was no other place to stay. It was because of that baby that someday you will be able to live forever in a place in which grandma will hold you, hug you, and run, jump, and play with you as much as I want. That place is heaven where all of us will live forever. Grandma can't wait to sing with you, run through gardens and water with you, and even play baseball with you if your dad has anything to say about it. You see Quint, grandma would love to do all that now but grandma has a sickness that will take her to that special place called heaven before you grow up. I don't know why He has that plan but for some reason He does. Now you finally fell asleep and Quint you are so beautiful. Every little part of you is perfect. One thing though, you could let your parents have a little more sleep.

Quinters, I hope I can be with you a long time yet but remember I will always be in your heart. I know mommy and daddy will teach you about Jesus and also about me. In case you have more questions you can always ask your cousins Tyler and Eli. If I could change anything to be here longer with you I would, but I think God has different plans and I'll be rooting for you the whole time. I love you so much Quint!
Love and Prayers
Grandma Dawn

Tyler Ryan

2008-12-19T16:34:00.000-08:00

So how is Grandma's favorite oldest grandson? I can always call you my favorite (oldest) grandson, and that is very special to me. I was there when you were born, and you held my finger as the nurses checked you. Grandma was so excited, and your mom and dad did great. Daddy held you first, then mommy and then Grandma. You were a handsome baby, and don't let mom tell you otherwise. Grandpa and Grandma helped babysit you at night cause you were like Isaac and liked to be up at night. What a stinker.

All your aunts and uncle (Jake) came up to see you. You were a very loved baby. By the way, if they think you were spoiled tell them, "Yes, and that's OK." Grandma babysat for you for a couple hours everyday while your mom worked. You had all kinds of attention from grandpa and your aunts and uncle.

Who was the little boy who told Grandpa that your mom stole orange and then said, "Actually Grandpa, she buys it." Then there was the time you told about Aunt Jodi's tattoo that will never come off. You also loved to go to the high school and shoot baskets. It didn't matter that you were so little you couldn't reach the basket you tried over and over again, and Grandma ran after the ball.

The most important thing Grandma wants to say is how proud I am that you say "I love Jesus."

Tyler, mommy and daddy started teaching you about Jesus before you were born. You were always singing songs and talking about Jesus. Mom and Dad were young, but they always taught you about Jesus. Grandma will always know that her oldest grandson loves Jesus.

I know mommy and daddy told you Grandma was sick, and you know I can't talk and I can't walk very good. I pray that Grandma will be around for many years, but I will always know that Tyler prays for me and that JESUS is first in Tyler's life. Love you so much Ty.

Love and Prayers

Grandma Dawn

Jen, Julie, Jillaine, Jodi, Jacque and Jake

2008-12-16T10:36:00.000-08:00

So I bet you're wondering why mom would write to you on the blog. Here goes:

You are 6 of the most wonderful gifts I was ever given in my life. Some husbands may disagree, but a mother's love stands (sorry guys). When I was a little girl all I wanted was to get married and have kids. People thought I was crazy. I know now that God was preparing you six for a reason none of us understand. How can a loving and caring God take your mom away from you when you all need her. God has given you each other and dad to comfort each other and give you strength in the hard times. Now, that sounds so easy to say but it is hard to do. I know that. It is the hardest thing I have ever and will ever have to do to say, "God, here they are again." and then leave you.

Jake, people always comment that we tried and tried and finally got a boy. We always say, "No, mom wanted a lot of kids and an extra bonus was given to our family when you were born." They also say, "Poor Jake with 6 mothers." You know that those 6 mothers have and will continue to spoil you rotten. In fact, I think all your sisters would say that they got spoiled by mom. If you wanted anything you went to mom, and if you needed homework help you went to dad. So thank dad for some of your good grades.

Now I have some things to say that I would like you to base your life upon. Keep Jesus at the CENTER and never push Him aside. Am I saying this so you will always have good things happen? Not at all. Look where you are right now. We are all fighting for my life, and we know only a miracle could make that happen. As I said before we don't understand any of this, but God still asks us to trust Him. Sometimes I am angry. Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I am grieving, and sometimes I am hoping. But when you are all here I'm Happy! You were brought with Jesus and all of you gave your life to Him. Leave it with him!

I love all of you so much and can't express it in words. Maybe that is what God is saying to all of us right I love you so much . . .

Remember you are always dad's and my children with God watching over us. We may never understand this pain but I want to encourage you let the pain out whenever you want.

Jen and AJ together raise Quint to love Jesus.

Julie and Joel together raise Tyler, Eli, and Isaac to love Jesus.

Jillaine pick a partner who loves Jesus and raise your children to love Jesus.

Jodi and Jeremy together raise Declan to love Jesus.

Jacquelyn pick a partner who loves Jesus and raise your children to love Jesus.

Jacob pick a partner who loves Jesus and raise your children to love Jesus.

And to all of you reading this, remember you are children of God and once God puts His hand on you, you will always be children of God.

I Love you all,

Mom

tired

2008-12-13T17:39:00.000-08:00

I am still trying to figure out how someone can be so tired all the time. I am up for an hour and then back in bed for three. Maybe my body is just resting up for next week when our whole family and my mom will be here. I can't wait. My mom will spend Christmas with us for only the second time, so that will be nice. Right now the dog has his head on Mom's knee and is waiting for a treat.

Doug is exhausted right now especially after getting up between 4-8 times a night either to take me to the bathroom or to get up to turn me over. So it's understandable why we are both exhausted. The good thing is that my mom is helping and that is great for Doug and daily company for me. Life around our house has certainly change

The hardest part for me this week was when my medical bracelet came in the mail and Doug put it on me and reality set. When I opened the letter that came and the bracelet said DO NOT RESUSCITATE it hurt my heart. I never thought I would be wearing one. Other things in life become unimportant. When Doug put it on me the tears came for all of us. I pray that God will give strength and patience.

In other ways we are doing great. Tyler is getting tall and Eli is quite the comedian. The babies are all growing weekly. All of them are my pride and joy. We are all trying to get through this as best we can with God at the center.

We also pray for all of you that God will bless you and your families. Thank-you for all you are doing for us and our family. Have a good week.

Doobs (I’m the dog)

2008-12-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

Finally!! It’s finally happened! After all those evenings I would faithfully get up when I heard the walker move, and watch while ‘Mom’ got herself out of the chair (or is now helped out of the chair), and follow her to her room making sure she made it all right, it is now happening. Most of the time I’m careful to stop right at the door to the bedroom because I know that this room is off limits for me. But then I would lie right on the threshold watching until she was safely tucked in bed.
Then in the morning when I heard her door open and I heard the walker coming through the door I would religiously get out of my bed and again follow her to her chair, watching that everything went all right. I would sit at the foot of her chair until I knew she was settled. Only then would I go back to bed or go play. Week after week, faithfully watching over her. Now, it has finally happened! ‘Mom’ finally has treats by her chair that she will give me. What a day!
Not that I was doing all this for the reward. Some people say that dogs are just dumb animals. I’m not going to argue semantics, but we know when things are not going right. I know when ‘Mom’ isn’t having a good day, and it is on those days that I will often simply lay my head on her lap and give her my ‘puppy-dog’ eyes until I see a smile. Then I often lay at her feet, keeping her company.
Tyler and Eli tell me that ‘Mom’ claims to not be an animal person. They said she is very much like their mom – not the one to have a lot of affection for animals. But I know that somewhere along the line something has changed. I think it was when we moved to Madison. About that time she developed a special place in her heart for me, and I try to honor that by keeping an eye out for her.
That’s probably why, if you come to our door, you will hear me sound pretty ferocious. I’m doing my best to protect my ‘Mom’. I settle down after I know you are ‘safe’.
Thanks for all you do for her. It helps me a lot!
(Oh, lest you think I’m smarter than I really am, I had ‘Dad’ type this for me.)

NURSE DAY

2008-12-11T17:40:00.000-08:00

So along with doctors comes nurses. Since I had a restless night, when the nurse came she got me out of bed to check me. Blood pressure, pulse, check breathing, check medicine, and all around asking how am doing. If I really want to be sarcastic I answer, "Think about it. I'm dying." Most of the time I don't do that anymore because I can't speak so I think all of you are safe.

After the nurse left I decided I needed to go back to bed and then at 3:30 p.m. I was awakened by Bette and my mom. Before you get on them I gave orders to have mom bring Bette in and wake me up so all the blame goes to me. I think 3:30 p.m. is time to get up anyway. It is now almost 8:00 p.m. and I'm ready to go to bed again. I get frustrated being so tired, but that's part of the disease.

Today was one of the first times that I was craving real food. Everything sounded good and I could not get a small jar of infant baby food peaches down. At least I got a little taste. In the mornings I try coffee thick enough that the spoon stands up in the middle (I dare any of you to try it).

Since I feel like going to bed I better do it. It's a process that takes at least 40 minutes. Before I go I do want you to know that this is a horrible disease. My legs are giving out, and all of you know I don't give up easy, so please continue those prayers for all of our family.

hard times

2008-12-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

Well I guess along with the good days I have to admit there are some hard ones like today. Trying to figure out "why" is a long thought process. I know you may be thinking, "Well you have ALS, how can you even have one good day?". Prayer warriors is the key and that's where you come in. Please continue to pray for peace with this disease, for strength, and for our kids. I know my good days are attributed to Doug, the kids, and the rest of my family. We all ask "why?", and I have to say "why not me?". Mom and I did our share of crying today but I think that comes with this territory. Thank-you for praying.

Also, for those of you not in Madison, I want to introduce you to 2 people who have entered my life, because I know they have a love for me and they are care-givers by nature.

Bette is an angel from God who is a member of our church, and who gives of herself all the time. She is here many days sitting with me, even holding my hand if I fall asleep. I love her to pieces and couldn't get along without her.

Now for Gina - Gina is my neighbor, friend, care-giver and so much more. She even comes over to take me to the bathroom. What a friend! I love her to pieces also. Her twin girls are my adopted grand-daughters. All three of them are God's angels to me.

So along with the good comes the hard, and even though I know God will never give us more than we can handle, I do ask that question.

Mom made it

2008-12-09T11:39:00.000-08:00

I was thrilled last night to see my mom walk in the door. Thanks for all your prayers. We have been talking (me with my speech machine) non stop and laughing at the crazy things we say sometimes. Maybe it's a good thing I won't get to the age of 76 because who knows what i would be typing. For those of you not in the mid-west the snow is beautiful but it is cold. When I read Jill's paper I was amazed at the intelligence of my daughter. She hit the nail on the head with what she writes. I haven't been able to make peace with this disease but I do know God is crying with our whole family, so I continue to put my trust in Him and wait for what comes next. I can still say(God is good) even through the confusing and angry times with this illness.

Update

2008-12-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

Monday afternoon and I am resting in my LazyBoy chair. It is my favorite place to be. I don’t know what I would do without it! Sitting up would definitely not be as comfortable without it!
I am grateful that I was able to again be in worship yesterday, and to join others in going forward for communion. Although I was not able to eat the bread or even sip any of the juice it was wonderful to have Doug place it on my lips as a gentle reminder of God’s grace in my life. Wheelchairs and carpeted-inclined aisle are not always the easiest to negotiate however (at least that is what those that have to push me tell me :-) ).
I always recognize how exhausting trips out like this are as getting into the car after church is over is always difficult. Yesterday was no exception. Even with Doug helping me I almost slid off the seat and onto the pavement. I feel so weak and helpless when this happens. It is humiliating, something I haven’t yet learned to accept or live with.
I’m looking forward to my mother arriving tonight (if the weather allows her to land). She is scheduled to arrive at about 9:00 pm but the weather is looking pretty nasty. She will be here into the New Year.

Lament

2008-12-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

LAMENT

This fall at Duke Divinity School, I took a class titled "Journeys of Reconciliation." We read a book titled Lament: Reclaiming Practices in the Pulpit, Pew and Public Square. I wrote a personal reflection as to what I thought lament might be able to give my family. I share my reflection with you--Jillaine

As I read this book, I felt very tied to its questions, its ideas and own lament that lament is rarely a part of the daily practice of the church and its surrounding community. Father Katongole, before we all departed a few weeks ago from class, noted that we should keep a particular community in mind as we read this book and then make note of what would the gift of lament be for this community. I of course knew at that moment that I would keep my family in mind as I read this book seeing that I was eagerly awaiting this reading since the beginning of the semester. I was hoping that it would be for me exactly what Father Katongole had mentioned, a gift. Have I found it to be a gift? Yes. But questions and confusion are still present.
One way I believe that lament can be a gift to my family is in the questions I have wrestled with regarding the difference between despair and lament. The reading, allowed me to distinguish one way in which lament and despair are different. Lament contains, or maybe better to say assumes, community. In order for lament to occur rightly, if that is fair to say, it must have community. Thus, for us to lament a death, a disease, a job loss etc., we must be surrounded by a support system that will in the time of need, “carry forth hope on our behalf when we ourselves have no hope in us,” (p 4). I now see that despair accompanies lament, but despair on its own, with no community to envelop it, will never take note of the hope. And it is this hope that must be ever present somewhere within the community because “the spine of lament is hope,” (p 54).
Another way lament can be a gift to my family is in its ability to be, as Ellen Charry writes, “A way through the extremes of high Calvinism and atheism, so that we can both trust God and lament the calamities of life” (p 107). From the onset of my mother’s diagnosis questions arose such as, “Why her?” “Why our family?” “What have we done to deserve this?” “Have we not been faithful enough?” “Have I not been faithful enough?” My family also heard plenty of these: “God will show you something good in all of this,” or “God will never give you more than you can handle,” or “God has a plan, don’t worry.” Whether Scripturally based or not, the questions we unanswerable, and the statements were unhelpful, not to mention sometimes insulting. My family found (finds) ourselves in one of two places: resigning to accept this as the will of God, saying that God “wants” my mom to be sick, or wrestling with thoughts that this must not be the good God we know and at times the thought that there was no God. Although the two places seem to be the quick and easy way to think through things, they are anything but easy for us as a Christian family. We don’t want either of them to be true. We want there to be a God, and we want there to be a deeper and better explanation to my mom’s illness than, “God wants this for her.” Lament gives us the in-between that wrestles with faithfully trusting God, and allowing honest expression our confusion, anger, hurt, fear, sadness, and pain. We are able to trust that God is present in our lives as God has always promised, and yet not lie God hiding that we believe right now life is pretty horrible and painful.
So, yes lament can be a gift to my family. But I must admit that lament will not bring what I really want which is the pain to go away. Lament is not the quick and easy way to resolve the questions and confusions of this disease because it does not answer the questions or divest the confusion. I see it as simply facing the questions and confusion head on, which, may bring about something even better than the answers -- that is a peace to my family, but above all to my mother. I hope so.

Hospice

2008-12-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

Within the past month we have had conversations with Hospice, and on the Tuesday prior to Thanksgiving met with them and enrolled Dawn with Hospice. Thus, within the past week she has begun the typical nurse visits, conversations with social workers and receiving help with some of the basic tasks of life.

As so many who have been with Hospice in the past, we are finding their help, presence and response to be beyond wonderful. They have added a spirit of joy and kindness, and we find ourselves encouraged after each visit.

Feeding Tube

2008-12-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

About two weeks ago Dawn had her feeding tube replaced. Normally this is done ever 3 months. However, due to excessive pain and some minor complications it was decided to do this after only 6 weeks.

This procedure went very well (that's easy for me to write as I wasn't going through the pain of having it done). Maybe I should rephrase this. This procedure's results have been positive. Much of the pain that Dawn was experiencing in the lower left abdomen has gone away. Those doing this procedure speculate that the excessive pain may have been created by the tube being placed within the stomach too close to the bowel, thus irritating the bowel. Whatever the cause, we are thankful that much of this pain has disappeared.

Dawn continues to receive all her nourishment through this feeding tube as swallowing any substantial food has become sporadic at best and on most days impossible.

Explaining this Blog

2008-12-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

One of the things we did during this Thanksgiving Holiday as we were together as a family was to agree that we needed to start a web-page that people like yourself could go to and keep up to date on how things are progressing in our lives.

We started with CarePages but gave this up because we did not like the 'commercial' look with all of its adds and add-ons. Jill agreed to create one, and with some help from key friends she laid out what you now see.

We hope that this will enable you to know a little more about our lives right now. We won't guarantee how often we will be able to update all of this. However, we will continue to work at keeping you better informed.

Also, each of us in the family has the ability to update this web-page, and therefore, at times we will identify who is writing so as to clarify. However, for the most part this will be a family blog, letting you know pertinent information and details.

Thank you again for your care, prayers and expressions of compassion that have been so consistent and valuable in our lives.

Room to be Together

2008-11-30T15:14:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Day has now passed and the house has quieted. However, we continue to be grateful for the 3 full days we all spent together. We have spent time together talking, crying, sharing memories, and laughing.

We are all learning how to feed mom, give her her medication, and change her bandages. Mom has been very gracious to all of us and accepting of all our mistakes. She also continues to keep us laughing with her wit and determination amidst the pain.

Mom has loved every minute with her grandsons. She has shared special moments with them all. One highlight for her was watching her littlest grandsons take a bath. By the end Grandma Dawn was soaked!!!

It was also extremely special and helpful to have the space created by the new addition. Mom was able to be a part of everything (short of the Wii games going on in the other room) we did. We spent two of the evenings together playing charades. With the extra space all 16 of us could be in one place with Mom relaxing in her chair. The space also makes it possible to keep all of her things in one place. So, she too was able to guess by typing things into her voice machine. we are so very grateful for the time, money, and labor that was given to make this addition possible.

You are invited to join us at our open house to see this new addition to the parsonage. You will have opportunity to tour the completed rooms and celebrate the great work of the contractor, workers and many volunteers. This will be Sunday, December 21 from 1-4 pm, with a house blessing at 4:00 pm. We would be honored if you would join us!